#1 Give a little to get what you want
Just before my fiancé and I moved in together for the first time, this is what he said to me, “Babe, I can’t wait to see what you’re going to do with our apartment, I’m leaving it all up to you, I can’t wait, I’m so excited”. Before you know it we were in the apartment and well let’s just say that sentiment didn’t last too long. All of a sudden my better half had all sorts of opinions, questions and suggestions.
I’d made all of these plans, created a Pinterest board, picked out paint colors, wallpaper and fabric samples. I was all in and ready to go so when I began hearing questions and concerns (you know I was giving him the side eye, right?) Keep in mind all the while I was planning I would ask for his opinion and he’d answer yay or nay and I would adjust my design accordingly. I can’t lie I was shocked, annoyed and upset all at the same damn time. But after having several conversations I realized that I needed to take a step back, and that this new apartment was not just my own but it was ours and if my fiancé had an opinion or wanted to change something and I had to shuffle my plans a little it wasn’t the end of the world. In fact, if I had anything to do with it our home was gonna turn out amazing regardless.
When we joined forces and began sharing our vision for our new home we got on the same page and as a result he eventually gave me the freedom to make the final selections. As they say in Soccer, GOAL!
It’s through this very new experience of moving in with my fiancé that I learned that when you let the reigns loose and stop trying to control every detail that’s when everything falls into place. Also, it doesn’t pay to get caught up in the fuss of it all because the real reward of this journey is getting to know the one you love on new and deeper level.
#2 Talk About and Establish a Decor Budget
Inevitably, you’ll have to have the sometimes very difficult and very uncomfortable conversation about money. Budget is a topic we did not discuss! Because finances are among the top TEN reasons for divorce in America I think it’s best to be open, honest and realistic when discussing your shared vision and plan for your home’s design.
Honestly, I think in most relationships one half of a couple is usually the spender while the other half is NOT. I must admit I’m the spender in my relationship. To all my SPENDERs out there although your significant other may seem like the party pooper when it comes to purchasing certain items for your home or maybe just in general, it’s definitely a plus having a mate who doubles as your accountability partner. Having them with you forces you to look at the bigger picture, prioritize what’s important and what can wait, and last but not least inspires you get more creative while saving money.
#3 Create Project Timelines
Discussing your desired budget is the perfect segue into creating a timeline for completing your project(s). It can be overwhelming starting a design project after moving into an apartment/house whether it’s your 1st, 2nd or 3rd go around. In my experience moving is mentally draining more than anything else. Creating a timeline will definitely help you manage the stresses that come along with moving into a new place. Believe me! Slow and steady makes for the best results, mistakes on the other hand are EXPENSIVE! So with that said, I caution you to tackle one room at a time. Break your big project into smaller manageable projects and before you know it your home decor project will be complete.